1. Talk with your children about difficult matters, even if it makes you uncomfortable.
 
2. Make the conversation safe.

• Confidentiality – this is a private conversation
• All feelings are acceptable – however you feel is okay
• Value multiple perspectives, be ready to accept things like – “I hate   you”, “Father John Doe is weird”,  “I wish I were dead”.

3. Make these conversations normal.  Don’t make difficult conversations a once in a lifetime conversation.  Talk about these things often and in a variety of ways.
 
4. Talk about why it is so hard to discuss these subjects.  Discuss how to make it easier for everybody.
 
5. Don’t be mysterious – be transparent.  Explain why these conversations are important.
 
6. Listen for meanings, not for facts.
 
7. Be curious – listen for the unusual.
 
8. HINTS that your child may be in trouble include depression, anxiety, sleep difficulty, aggressive behavior, drug or alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, avoiding all things sexual, refusal to go to school, fascination with fire or suicidal statements.  If your child exhibits any of these behaviors it is essential that you work with your child to understand the meaning of these behaviors and that you seek professional help. 
 
 
 
SNAP
Survivors Network for those Abused by Priests
www.snapmidwest.org
314-645-5915